Gender and Terminology

First - I am a straight white male and I have no right to make value comments on anyone who isn't. This post is more about taxonomy and terminology. It is random musing (as is the whole blog) to bring some structure to the topic and provide a way of thinking about it.

The current terms for non-standard sexuality is LBGTQIA+, which is an attempt to cover all variations and traits. The term is very unwieldy we is indicative of trying to mix multiple concepts under one banner. I can think of at least four aspects, each of which has a spectrum of meaning. Combining them into a single term makes the Alphabet soup above. The comprehensive alternative is to define the concept by using a negative - hence "non-standard sexuality"; making the message about what it IS NOT, rather than what it IS.

The four concepts mixed together here I tend to think of a: gender, identity, orientation and intensity. Anyone more closely involved in the relevant community is welcome to come up with alternatives.

• Gender is the biological/genetic factor.

Most people are have either XX or XY chromosomes and therefore can be classified as female or male. This is totally objective, measurable and (in theory) should not be the subject of dispute. It is possible to separate people according this measure, but often not particularly useful or meaningful.
The qualifier 'most' is important because not everyone fits into theses groups. There are a small but significant number who are XXY, YY, XYY or multiple variations in between. These are also valid but often ignored in society as being too small a group to worry about - unless, of course, you are in that group.

• Identity is what a person considers themselves to be.

There are cultural norms, attitudes and expected behaviours which apply to 'men' and 'women' in our society and not everyone feels aligned to the expectations enforced on their biological gender. As far as I know, Identity is a psychological and subjective factor; every person has their feeling about who they are and how they would like to interact with others.
I feel that in a society where male and female were exactly equal and had the same expectations, Sexual Identity would be less important. But I have no direct experience with the matter and am fully prepared to be corrected by someone who knows better.

• Orientation is which sex (gender or identity) one is attracted to.

Pair bonding is about the relationship between two people rather than about an individual. Without getting into the four (five?) definitions of love, Orientiation in this context is about sexuality, not other forms of bonding. The traditional case is attraction to the opposite *gender*, although, with biological clues to Gender subsumed by societal expressions of Identity, uncertainty is not only possible but common (see The Crying Game).
There is evidence that Orientation is partially genetic and partially learned, and not wholly (if at all) voluntary.

• Intensity is how strongly an individual feels about Sex.

Many people are not particularly interested in the sexual act, many feel very strongly about it. There is a stereotype that males are more interested that females. This dimension is much more diffuse and than the others; more a normal curve rather than a double peak; more people in the middle rather than at either end.
In line with all the other categories, anyone who doesn't fit the profile (e.g. asexuality) is considered with suspicion by people who are threatening by the unfamiliar.

Breaking it down this way shows that the different aspects of LGBTI etc. really cover a wide range of types and groups who have little in common, other than being outside the mainstream.