Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
As someone who has always had trouble with small talk (doesn't everyone feel that? I don't think I have ever heard anyone say that they were good at it), I understand the sentiment but I feel it may not be quite correct. I am sure that Einstein and Shakespeare both would have discussed trivial matters over a pint or a cuppa at some time.
The implication that great minds do not indulge in such things or that anyone who converses at that level is small-minded is not realistic.
Better would be to say: "Great conversations are about ideas; average discussions are about events; small talk is about people." Pointless chatter about trivial matters can be essential for building rapport and bonding which inevitably leads to larger networks which allow the great conversations to take place.
This shifts the focus from the people to the relationship - and building connections from many small pieces until the larger structures can be supported. Picking the correct mode for the context you are in can be difficult and getting it wrong means that the conversation falls apart, or never gets going. Trying to talk about existentialism in a night-club is an exercise in futility, and probably won't win you any friends.
Of course, if the only thing you *ever* talk about is other people, choosing a mode becomes easy - but does not lead to any really deep conversations.
